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Fantastic Tales of Old Key Wierd...
 

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Asked Steve too many questions.
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By: Stan Yow - Oct 24 2010 @ 11:00 AM

My rusty boat. Willie Nelson's recent visit. The decline of
Western civilization. Fantasy Fest. Officer Gomez completely
ignoring me riding circles around him with NO bike lights and
smoking something illegal, just so he could harass a homeless guy
with a beer. Taxes.

These are all things that I could write about if I weren't so
lazy. I have been stumbling around The Rusted Root for weeks now with absolutely no gumption to scribble even the shortest of sentences. Life has been so pleasant and calming for me as of late that I have nothing to bitch and moan about. Everyone else, the Lovely included, do not seem to mind moaning at me about Hot Pavement taking a break, however. So here I am.

I still just want to get back to my video games and the sunshine on the deck, a little wooden Hobbit pipe and the ministrations of a beautiful mate with a day off. I have no patience for too many words right now and if I am forced to write something, it is going to be short and sweet.

Let's see how many laughs I can get and how many people I can piss off in a few short paragraphs.

Chief Donie Lee, stop bieng an idiot! There is a meth lab on Stock Island in a trailer right on McDonald, for God's sake, I smell it everytime I pass it on my way to go buy weed...Stop messing with the bums in the park and bicyclists rolling through stop signs and start doing some real police work.

Noise in Old Town? Bothered by Harleys, roosters, scooters, tourists, and street performers? Move back to Kansas where it is so quiet you can hear your neighbors breathe in their sleep. We live in a tropical tourist trap, you jackasses, where we cater to the tourists and everything we do here stems from that base. Get over it.

Wisteria Island developement? Do you hold the deed to the property? Then shut up! It does not belong to you therefore you have no say in the matter. To all of you liveaboards around Xmas tree, if you had done what you promised 5 yrs ago and cleaned the island of all of your squatter trash, the owners might listen to your pleas for environmental protection. You didn't and guess what? Your words mean nothing now and all the petitions in the world are not going to halt the development. Only the City Councils greed will do that.

The homeless problem? Easy solution! Work Camps! We round up all the homeless, house them in an expanded KOTS and feed them three meals a day, give them free medical and mental help and help them beat their addictions...all free. Provided they work.
Six hours a day, cleaning the mangroves, the sidewalks, the parking lots, Wisteria Island. Put them to work doing all the projects that the city apparently is too busy to accomplish. You dont work, you have to leave Monroe County. Fail a drug and alcohol test, you leave Monroe County. Or go to jail. Simple.

Why is marijuana decriminalization not on the Florida ballot?

Stoner Steve, stop letting Whitefeather chase the chickens! One day they are going to gang up and kick his ass. His blood will be on your hands.

Sunluver Charters is the best charter sailing company on the island! The Grand Cafe is a pretentious ass of a resteraunt with bland food and a surly staff of foreign exchange workers. I think all street performers SHOULD pay a nominal fee for the privilidge of making much more money than I do but liability insurance? Who's brainstorm was this? Mark Rossi's? I bet it was...Truman Annex? Give it to the people for a paid as you go city park. The fee should keep out most of the bums. Sunset Watersports is the best jetski operation around.

Now, with all that said, can I go back to my pipe and sunshine? Naked ministrations and Diana Krall? Cafe Con Leche and cream cheese? I promise that I will write something witty and insightful later. Right now, life is calling...and brother, Life is good!


Visit http://hotpavement.blogspot.com/ for more articles on Stan Yow's blog.

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1 Reply

What a Wookie!
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By: Hammer - Nov 10 2010 @ 12:19 PM

Reply #1 Link

Don't get me wrong, I like reading everything you write, but this makes me miss my second home even more... :)

 
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